so this is what it's like to have a kid

[westerling]

Last night, here at work, G., who is now 6yo, calls. Sniffling.

G: We wanted to watch the sunset with you. *sob* I am so sad.

Me: (way too late for the sunset) Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, I was at work (thinking: Ohman I am such a shithead)

G: (Talks for a while about the sunset, and what he did at Babchi's and sort of on and on in that vein for a while, interspersed with little sobs now and then).

Me: Are you feeling better now?

G: No, I am still sad.

Me: I'm sorry sweetie, that I have to work. I wish I could be home with you instead.

G: When I look at the clouds I will think of you. *sob*

Me: (starting to choke up) When I look at the clouds, I will think of you, too. *pause* We'll be together soon. I'll be home soon.

G: *bursts into tears*

Me: !!!!

It's a good thing that I don't have a job with fixed hours. Holy shit, what a trip. I had to drive home, of course. How could I not, after that?

Comments

[laughingrat.livejournal.com]

OMG that made me sniffly and he isn't even mine!

[westerling.livejournal.com]

Gad, it was horrible! And so sweet all at the same time. I thought, sweet jebus, this is how men think that women will fulfill their emotional needs, cause we were talking about that and all, yesterday. But what was I gonna do, not go home, just on principle? He doesn't understand now, anyway, he was a little kid what needed his mommy; it's when he's sixteen that he will need to learn that resilience. :)

[laughingrat.livejournal.com]

Oh exactly. And in a way--that direct way he's talking about his emotions, and telling you what he wants? Hell, that's what we *want* from grown men. If they would do that instead of internalizing their shit and then projecting it, everyone would be a lot better off. ;)

[westerling.livejournal.com]

Yup. Well, I just gave him positive feedback for that behavior. You cry, and mommy drops everything and comes home. :) Projection. Passive aggressiveness. I want to teach him to be above that.

[laughingrat.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Well, that's true. Hmm.

But I like the way he said, "Well I am sad, and this is why, and this is what I needed." Because by the time people are adults they don't know how to do that, so they just act crappy to each other.

Is there a way to balance this? So that he knows it's OK to tell you what he needs, but also knows that you're not a bad person if you can't always give that to him?

[dangerousbeans.livejournal.com]

Oh man, he's got you wrapped around his cute little finger... ;>

[westerling.livejournal.com]

Totally. But you know, he's such a sensitive child. *ahem*

[dangerousbeans.livejournal.com]

How do you know, did you poke him?

I'm calling child welfare services...(if he hasn't already)

[westerling.livejournal.com]

You probably gave him the number. Bad-influence auntie.

[dangerousbeans.livejournal.com]

Well, he asked for it, and hes *soooo* cute...how could I resist...

*snark* :)

oh brother you's!

[(Anonymous)]

Men are not going to think like you, because they are not women.
They internalize because if they did not and the hunter just came out whenever, "quick, get under the table!" You want them to come talk to you as the elephant (metaphor, duh!) is charging? Geeez!
If they told you everything they think and feel, you'd lock them up and think them insane, because men do not think like you's.
"this is how men think that women will fulfill their emotional needs" ... ah, we're talkin about a six year old here, HELLO!
"talking about his emotions, and telling you what he wants?" - you think men know what they want! HA HA HA HA HA hooo hoo har har!
"You cry, and mommy drops everything and comes home." - Geee...say...who taught him that? er? HELLO!
When women try to mentally and emotionally dissect and program their male children to be, think, feel, it can be a real experiment. It's a people problem, not a male problem, that men think, feel, act... And now we have everyone saying that sex is whatever. Some, women, men, bi's, gays, lesbians, all cheat and beat the shit out of eachother. We're all people.
G called his Mom and needed her. Cool. Like, "Hi MOM. I need you.", even if you're working. I'm a kid.
The coulds thing was awesome.
;-) WoBD

Re: oh brother you's!

[(Anonymous)]

er...that would be; The CLOUDS thing was awesome. Ahem.

Re: oh brother you's!

[westerling.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the clouds thing was awesome.

Unfortunately for you, you came into this conversation when we were talking about something else, regarding men, somewhere else. And it had to do with communication and expectations, and stuff like that. So you were a little contextless, thus clueless. (ahem)

But still, I don't expect men to think like women because MEN are WANKERS. :P So there. Nyah, nyah.

How's that for processing and communication?