seasonal haibun (5 7 5 7 7)

[westerling]

Low sings the fiddle
in the harvest moon's garden--
warm autumn night when
wind tastes of cool rain; change time,
a dance tune for season's end

Comments

[westerling.livejournal.com]

Haibun is like haiku, except with the two 7-syllable ending lines. It dates back to the 10th century or so. Perhaps one idea per line would be better--I was cheating a bit to get everything in. It might work better in my more standard form (extremely loose). Maybe I'll try it that way.

On the other hand, the rhythm changes right where I wrote "change time" which I didn't entirely do on purpose but seems like it has potential if I decide to revise. Which I might.